Gluemeat

Is it just me, or does this picture of US diplomat John Negroponte standing next to Picasso’s Guernica drip sardonicism?

Okay, so yesterday our illustrious Prime Minister Stephen Harper, flanked by a bunch of his cabinet ministers, spoke in Vancouver, the Green capital of the country, about the government’s proposals to help improve the environment. Yeah, there was no talk about that Kyoto accord thing, which the Tories are hoping we’ll just all forget about, so there’s no use to start chitter-chatter about that again.  It’d really suck to remember that our country committed to making it work.
Anyhoo, the details of this plan, this “Made in Canada” plan (as Harper likes to call it), have started attracting ire from environmental groups, which, in turn, has put Environment Minister Rona Ambrose on the defensive. The reason? The emission restrictions will be “intensity based,” meaning that a company’s emission targets will fluctuate accordingly to said company’s economic activity. As the article at the CBC explains, “even though individual emission limits for each barrel of oil or piece of coal could be lowered, if production increases, the overall amount of greenhouse gas emissions and air pollutants could grow.” Thus, your targets grow with your company’s growth. Or, as Odiyya at The Conscious Earth puts it:

current pollution - small per unit reduction in emissions x BIG increase in production =
BIG F@#!IN’ INCREASE IN SMOG!!!

So I can’t really blame Rona for being on the defensive, with such dunderhead reasoning coming up with this stuff.  Then again, Ambrose is just setting herself up to look like a disconnected moron, what with hiring a global warming skeptic as her chief of staff and all.

In all seriousness, hoever, there is absolutely no logic in setting environmental standards based on the standards of man-made institutions. Come on, how does that even remotely start to make sense?  The quality of the Earth’s environment doesn’t change to follow regulations we establish for ourselves. The Earth has always determined our standard of life, whether it has been through climate, terrain, or other natural phenomenons (like earthquakes or volcanoes) and we have learned to deal with those obstacles. There are reasons why mankind settled its first major cities around rivers instead of on mountaintops, or why housing constructions in the Yukon differ from those in Melbourne, or how they are both structurally apart from those built in earthquake-prone Japan.

But cooperating wasn’t good enough. We’ve tried to take control of the planet, but Nature can’t compensate us anymore; and it won’t successfully be able to pick up the pace if we allow polluters to continue filling the skies with toxic gases.
This “Made in Canada” plan makes us look like a bunch of, pardon my French, retards.

Wow. The past few days were, um, populous here at Gluemeat.

A single link off the main page of VampireFreaks.com (VF.com) pointing to a recent post I made in regards to the lameduck rhetoric that’s been going around in favour of shutting down VF.com gave my site it’s biggest influx of traffic in, well, ever.

But this is far from one of those vanity posts where I post a screenshot of my hourly stats and snap my suspenders in pride. I mention it mainly because of the buckets and buckets of comments the post became host to, as VF.com users poured in to add their thoughts to my own, as any good blog exercise should be. As such, it was quite interesting to read how members of the community feel about the whole situation.

Many lauded the site’s cohesiveness and how well it’s run, clamouring the great job that owner “Jet” is doing with it. Some even mentioned a few results of the monitoring that the site runs to ensure the protection of its users. It’s a subject I would love to hear more about.

There is indeed a great sense of community among the members of VF.com. Most members talk about “we” when they speak of the site. There is mention of how everyone looks after each other, with some referring to the community as “family.” Countless comments started with a sentence along the lines of “I have been a proud member of VampireFreaks.com for X years” denoting a deep attachment. It’s not surprising. After all, the site exists as a haven for those who don’t “fit in” and who feel that mainstream culture has nothing to offer them. Therefore, it’s normal for pardon the expression, “the rejected” to create such a tightly bonded atmosphere as they feel isolated everywhere else. You can’t blame anyone for wanting to feel accepted and part of something.

It also demonstrates the point of my previous article quite well. Social websites allow for escapism from everyday drudgery and connect with people who you will immediately be able to identify with. Whether it be with something as vast as MySpace or more genre-specific as VF.com, the end result is the same: you will be able to interact with others who will not judge you on a whim.

In fact, most members have affirmed that if it wasn’t for the rash judgement most folks extend to them, sometimes unjustly so, perhaps VF.com and goth culture wouldn’t serve as scapegoats in these situations. A noble sentiment, but one which many VF.com members failed to adhere to themselves. Despite these calls for open-mindedness, many (if not most) of the VF.com members who commented here attacked my post vehemently, as if I was the enemy.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I can’t handle someone disagreeing with something I write. It just comes across to me as completely strange that people would get their flame on and tear into the post, Gluemeat, and myself for things I didn’t even profess. It’s almost as if they read the title, read the first sentence or two, then hit the comment section thinking that I was among those who believe VF.com should be shut down.

Many comments said that I was wrong to target VF.com when places like as MySpace have similar destructiveness going on there as well. I was attacked on that front, despite drawing that very same parallel within the post.

Some comments said that I was stupid to consider VF.com to be the source of the problem and that we should look to other sources for people feeling like they do. Yet, I suggested exactly that in the post as well.

Some comments said that the media and those in power blame websites because it’s easier to shift the blame and that I was stupid to blame VF.com. I never blamed VF.com; and actually I made that very same point in the last paragraph of the post.

So while the community asks for tolerance and, as a couple of comments noted, to “look under the surface,” my article wasn’t given that same courtesy. It was hastily attacked by people who skimmed its surface, made up a quick opinion, and reacted angrily against it. The double standard shocked me. Here I was sticking up for them, and yet I ended up being demonized.

Had they read the whole article instead of jumping to conclusions off the first few lines, I would have been better understood. Gosh, doesn’t that sound familiar?

Of course, VF.com and its members have been under an umbrella of bad press recently, so I guess it’s almost a reflex action to believe a website which isn’t covered in black and purple with countless quotes from The Crow and Poe must be saying bad things about them (I’m being sarcastic, of course). You can’t really blame that. But when you attack those who defend you, it kind of makes one wonder.

Since then, the link to the Gluemeat post from VampireFreaks.com and the resulting comments has been deleted from the website for some reason. Perhaps the owner saw the hasty commentary and felt bad?

However, there are many VF.com members who did understand what I meant and felt vindicated by it and which keep me from believing that most VF.com members are judgemental meanies. Just as they seemed happy to see that someone else “out there” understood their point of view. I guess that means there are idiots everywhere, regardless of how much eyeliner you wear.

The last thing this whole experience has taught me was the “flame you to smoldering embers” note I put in the comments section. Anyone who knows me understands how much of a joke that is, so I guess the fact that I supposed everyone would get the joke was my fault. I never figured anyone would take that literally since it’s so completely over the top. So I’ll just change it to something cute. Everyone likes cute things. Like bunnies. Bunnies with machine guns.

There’s been a recent uprising of folks who are asking the question “Should we shut down VampireFreaks.com” followed by a resounding “YES!”

The main reason for this line of questioning, is best summarized in a post from fellow Progressive Blogger Wendy over at Wendy’s Thoughts:

In the last 5 or so years since it’s conception, vampirefreaks.com has been linked to numerous violent crimes including:

- In 2003 vampires.com surfaced in the media for the first time when 2 boys were arrested for the stabbing (71 times to be exact), and killing of a 12 year old boy (a younger brother of one of the boys) known only as “Johnathan”.
- It’s also the place where 12 year old Jasmine Richardson from Medicine Hat, Alberta, met 23 year old Jeremy Steinke who helped her plan and execute the killings of Jasmines parents and younger brother. They also posted their killing plans on the site.
- In June of this year, three young men were sentence for a deliberate fire that destroyed the 105-year-old Minnedosa United Church, in Minnedosa, Man. One had posted his profile on VampireFreaks.com. Referring to Jesus Christ, he wrote: ‘’If he comes back, we’ll kill him again.”
- And just this past July, New York City police charged a 23-year-old man with a series of rapes of underage girls, some of whom he met through VampireFreaks.com. Police said they found a photo of him on the site depicting him standing over a tombstone with a black cape and long purple locks of hair hanging over his face. After an investigation he was arrested after arriving at a cemetery one night with the expectations of having sex a 13-year-old girl he met through the site. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for us his alleged online prey was actually an undercover police woman.

Of course, there’s Dawson College to toss into the mix there as well.

With such a dark alumni, many people have portrayed VampireFreaks.com as a “hate-filled” place, even wondering if another Kimveer Gill is festering in its bosom. After all, it’s apparently filled with impressionable young teenagers; Is VampireFreaks.com really a lightning rod for the sociopathic and a nexus for crime?

Not nearly as much as MySpace is.

Anyone who thinks about wanting VampireFreaks to shut down to keep Gill wannabes at bay should definitely go take a nice, serious read at MyCrimeSpace, a blog which records all MySpace-related misdeeds in a single place. Everything from beatings, to rape, to scams, to pedophilia. It’s all there in its undesireable glory and, trust me, you don’t really realise just how much garbage is going on until you skim through it. Like those teens who posted a video of themselves beating another kid up. Or how about brawls being set-up online? Or Matthew McCombs, who boasted on his MySpace that he wanted to be a killer, then shot a 16-year old in the face at point blank range? These aren’t all vampire-loving goths. They are kids from a range of social contexts.

Also, if you take one of Gill’s most publicized quotes, “I hate the world,” and do a Google search on MySpace, you’ll find 111,000 different results, ranging from usernames to comments to blog entries. Not all are related to doom and destruction, but a lot are. Therefore, by the same applied logic, should we assume that MySpace is the breeding ground for our next goth malcontent-with-a-gun and shut it down? Or should we just realise that most of these types of comments are made by distruaght people who are alienated by the world we live in? Should we start looking for real reasons instead of firing at the methods they took to momentarily flee their malaise? Because that’s what places like VampireFreaks and MySpace offer.

Some folks are literally flying off the handle because of some comments which are being made concerning the whole ordeal; comments being made by other teenagers. I would agree that there is something to be worried about when a child identifies him or herself with a killer, but not because doing so makes them a “potential risk.” I worry because somehow society has failed to offer them anything better to feel better about themselves. And calling them “white trash” isn’t going to help mend any bridges.

We sometimes seem to forget that teenagers are children who are becoming adults, who are entrenched in deeply formative years. Accusing websites (or video games, or popular music) of their strayings is an attempt to shift the guilt from ourselves. It is, after all, a whole lot easier to handle.

ARR! Today is international Talk Like A Pirate Day. What’s great about today is that it’s a lot like Saint Patrick’s Day: instead of everyone being Irish for the day, we get to be a pirate; also, it’s an excuse to drink! So if you want to have the best chances to freak out middle management, your pastor, or your grandparents with your dextrous use of pirate lingo, the UK headquaters of the event have this excellent lexicon of typical pirate words and their contextual usage.

Startin’ Rules

- Double up on all your adjectives and you’ll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of “a big ship”, they call it a “great, grand ship!” They never say never, they say “No nay ne’er!”
- Drop all your “g”’s when you speak and you’ll get words like “rowin’”, “sailin’” and “fightin’”.
- Dropping all of your “v”’s will get you words like “ne’er”, “e’er” and “o’er”.
Instead of saying “I am”, sailors say, “I be”. Instead of saying “You are”, sailors say, “You be”. Instead of saying, “They are”, sailors say, “They be”. Ne’er speak in anythin’ but the present tense!

Vocabulary

In which ye’ll find words submitted by many pirates o’er the years, an’ which comprise a loose piratical dictionary.

Ahoy: Hey!
Avast: Stop!
Aye: Yes
Black spot: to be ‘placin’ the black spot’ be markin’ someone for death.
Booty: treasure
Buccanneer: a pirate who be answerin’ to no man or blasted government.
By the Powers!: an exclamation, uttered by Long John Silver in Treasure Island!
Cat o’ nine tails: whip for floggin’ mutineers
Corsair: a pirate who be makin’ his berth in the Med-…Medi-…that sea ‘tween Spain and Africa, aye!
Davy Jones’ Locker: the bottom o’ the sea, where the souls of dead men lie
Doubloons: pieces of gold…
Fiddlers Green: the private heaven where pirates be goin’ when they die.
Furner: a ship which be yer own, not one ye steal an’ plunder.
Gentlemen o’ fortune: a slightly more positive term fer pirates!
Go on the account: to embark on a piratical cruise
Grog: A pirate’s favorite drink.
Jack: a flag or a sailor
Jolly Roger: the skull and crossbones, the pirate flag!
Keelhaul: a truly vicious punishment where a scurvy dog be tied to a rope and dragged along the barnacle-encrusted bottom of a ship. They not be survivin’ this.
Landlubber: “Land-lover,” someone not used to life onboard a ship.
Lass: A woman.
Lily-livered: faint o’ heart
Loaded to the Gunwales (pron. gunnels): drunk
Matey: A shipmate or a friend.
Me hearty: a friend or shipmate.
Me: My.
Pieces o’ eight: pieces o’ silver which can be cut into eights to be givin’ small change.
Privateer: a pirate officially sanctioned by a national power
Scallywag: A bad person. A scoundrel.
Scurvy dog!: a fine insult!
Shiver me timbers!: an exclamation of surprise, to be shouted most loud.
Son of a Biscuit Eater: a derogatory term indicating a bastard son of a sailor
Sprogs: raw, untrained recruits
Squadron: a group of ten or less warships
Squiffy: a buffoon
Swaggy: a scurvy cur’s ship what ye be intendin’ to loot!
Swashbucklin’: fightin’ and carousin’ on the high seas!
Sweet trade: the career of piracy
Thar: The opposite of “here.”
Walk the plank: this one be bloody obvious.
Wench: a lady, although ye gents not be wantin’ to use this around a lady who be stronger than ye.
Wi’ a wannion: wi’ a curse, or wi’ a vengeance. Boldly, loudly!
Yo-ho-ho: Pirate laughter

Avast! Lots more over at yarr.org.uk, ye squiffy sprogs!

Okay, seriously.

Last week, Condi Rice was in my tasty country to thank Nova Scotians for helping out in the aftermath of September 11. She got to meet our Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay for a couple of days. Then the media spent the week tooting that MacKay and Condi hit it off and that there was a “thing” brewing between each other.

Holy hell, is this what the Conservatives meant when they said they wanted tighter bonds with the US? I’m starting to think MacKay jumped up and screamed: “I’ll do my part!”

But what I’m fearing is that our pals in the US and across the world will come to think of Peter MacKay as what an international Canadian playboy is.

Sure, he was gettin’ it on with politico hottie Belinda Stronach before she STABBED HIM IN THE BACK AND BECAME A LIBERAL. Then he was putting the moves on Sophie Desmarais, the daughter of Power Corporation honcho Paul Desmarais. I mean, dude can mack like a master, but is this is picture of a desireable, available Canadian man?

Is this the definition of Canadian manliness?

Though he does look good in a rugby uniform. Better than fellow Conservative MP Barry Devolin, who could barely make it out of his suit.

And when Stronach dumped him, he did go back to his family farm to be alone and pull off the sad, downtrodden guy routine.

Well, he probably gets something. Which is why he’s a cabinet minister and I have a blog.

Peter MacKay: he puts the “Affair” in “Foreign Affairs.”

Charlie Chaplin was quoted as once saying:

“All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.”

It’s also a great combination for a restraining order.