Evangelical smackdown
It’s not a good day to be God-fearing in America today.
Creation Science Evangelism honcho Kent Hovind has been found guilty of tax fraud and faces a maximum sentence of 288 years in prison. He eluded paying $845,000 US in employee taxes, figuring that those under his employ “are workers of God and therefore exempt from paying taxes.” Yeah, I’ve read about that one. It’s the obscure 11th commandment: “Thou shalt not pony up thine share to elude higher taxation brackets.”
In case you’ve forgotten, Hovind is the guy who’s trying to make us believe that humans and dinosaurs coexisted and who offered a $250,000 bounty for anyone who could provide empirical evidence for evolution.
Also, Ted Haggard, of the Christian New Life Church, was busted for, apparently, soliciting gay sex. Haggard is one of the US’s leading evangelical leaders and has openly stated that homosexuality is sin. Yet here he is, and he denies it, stating that all he was doing was buying drugs. You know, because all gay escorts do drugs and can get you hooked up with drugs. Also, doing drugs is a much more pardonable offence, as stated in the just-as-obscure-as-the-11th 12th commandment: “Thou shalt not imbibe hallucinogenic subtances; though if thou do, it’s okay.”
But even moreso, Haggard is pulling a Clinton, saying he bought the stuff but didn’t use it.
“‘I was tempted, I bought it, but I did not use it,’ [Haggart] said today.
He said he threw the drug out shortly after buying it. ‘I never kept it very long because it was wrong,’ he said.”
Even though there are taped answering machine messages which clearly show him wanting to buy “more” stuff. I guess after throwing out the first batch he had, he figured he’d go right ahead and throw out another.
(Via BoingBoing)
Haggard…I met him. I’ve been to the church. It’s the church my aunt and uncle attend and my aunt is a full time volunteer for and my uncle runs the sound system and the website. I didn’t like him much when I met him and when I attended mass, but it was also against my will as my relatives were trying to save my soul. Nice place though…you can tell lots of big bucks get pumped into it.
this guy is SOOO fucking creepy (Haggard.)
the still photos don’t do his gollom-y* mannerisms justice, i was honestly surprised that the affair was with a HUMAN (an adult at that!) rather than whatever willing and unwilling creatures of the north america bestiary he happened upon.
*actually more of a charles manson / extra-retarded-gomer pyle / banjo-possom-boy hybrid.
Salena,
Mass? He’s evangelical, not Roman Catholic. Evangelicals don’t have mass, they have Lord’s Supper.
Tedd Haggard - Take the blog out of your own eye!…
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These two need to go back to the basics: though shall not steal, and thou shall not bear false witness. I’m sure the devil tempted them. Tee Hee!
Mass, lord’s supper…whatever….it was religious and I was an outsider.