Built in the legends before time, Osaka Castle was originally home to the ogre’s that ravaged the Western Plains of Primordeal Japan. Using dark and unholy rituals their shaman’s conjured robot architects and pastry chef’s from five billion years in the future and also from a different galaxy. Enslaving the robots they forced them to build the Castle as a pleasure palace with all the latest erotic video games and massage chairs. tens of thousands of years after all signs of the Ogre race had vanished from the Earth and the Castle had fallen into great disrepair, a new inhabitants moved in, a race of dwarven folk who because of their small stature were able to build giant metropolises for themselves within the grounds of the castle and propigate their race without fear of scrutiny or high salaried endoresment from the rest of the free world. This part of the history of the Castle is better presented in the low-budget Japanese documentary “Akira” which was shot in real time.
Now, when I say, “Who’s da mastah?” you say, “Sho’nuff!”
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